The Talk

So today Lilah asked where babies come from, and not in a generic kind of way that I could easily throw pat answers at... Her line of questioning was very specific and required some high caliber answers.

It was very interesting and sweet how the conversation began. Lilah started by asking me if there were ever any babies without mommies, which kind of confused me. After asking her about what she meant, she explained that she would like a baby of her own (woah, slow down kiddo!!) and that maybe she could have a baby without a mommy. Awwww... That totally melted my heart!!! Without going into all of the reasons why a baby or child wouldn't have a mommy, adoption, etc., I explained that babies all have a mommy and a daddy in the beginning. Then she asked when she could have her own baby. Well, please consider waiting until you're an adult Lilah... :) Which then led into a line of questioning about how she would find a daddy for her baby. Good grief kiddo! I haven't even had my morning coffee yet!! Well, I explained, you would probably find a husband, like mommy has daddy. I was hesitant to say this though, because I don't believe that all families have to look like the typical mommy/daddy combination, and don't want my children to think that other family constructs aren't significant or possible. BUT, she's 3, barely 3 for cryin' out loud, so I figured there was no need to get into all of that right now.

So Lilah was now aware that she needed to be a grown up, then she needed to find a daddy for her baby (and no, I didn't use the term baby daddy, although maybe I should have...) Then what, she asks? Where does the baby come from? Sigh... I hate pat answers given to this question. I have extensively thought through all of the answers I DON'T want to give to this question, but have never really nailed down the answer I would like to provide. I thought I had more time? At least a few more years... So back to the question. Where do babies come from? In my mind I'm hearing the track "when a man and a woman love each other, blah blah blah blah..." Okay, that's not what I want to say... I am also not terribly interested in giving the textbook sex ed answer complete with all of the scientific terms. Not that I have an issue with that, it's just not my style per se. Um, well, mommies and daddies have seeds, I end up saying. Seeds? Lilah of course wants to know more about these seeds. Well, when the seeds come together, they make a baby. She accepts this, but wants to know more of course. So how do the seeds make a baby? Um, they come together, I repeat. She moves on, thankfully I'm off the hook on coming up with more information on the "seeds." When the seeds make a baby, then what happens? The baby grows. How does the baby get in your tummy? It swims to the uterus, which is the baby's house. How does the baby know how to swim? Hm, well... I guess it floats. Because babies don't really know how to swim... Why does the baby have to stay in its house so long? So that it grows big and strong and healthy. What happens if the baby comes out of its house too early? Well, the baby might die. Doh!! Scratch that!!! Uh, the baby might be a little bit sick and would have to stay in the hospital. So how much longer till the baby can come out of your tummy. Four weeks! Okay, good, now we're on more stable ground, talking about when our baby will be born. I can handle that!

Even though that conversation with Lilah was incredibly exhausting (I'm worn out all over again just typing it all!!) I'm actually really proud that I have such an introspective, intelligent, caring, loving 3 year old that would be interested in having such a conversation. I'm constantly amazed at how loving Lilah is with babies, and find it so sweet that she wants a baby of her own. She is constantly talking about how she wants to be the new baby's mommy, and wants to give her milk from her boo boo's, and wants to put the baby nite-nite, and cuddle the baby. Lilah is such a good big sister, and I'm incredibly excited to give Lilah a little sister that she can love and care for in her own way. And maybe, if I'm lucky, Lilah can just give all of her siblings "the talk" so that I can avoid it in the future! She can just do all the hard stuff and I'll do the fun things!