Raising My Spirited Child

Today I started reading the book Raising Your Spirited Child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka in hopes of just tapping into Lilah a little better. Reading through the author's description of the spirited child, not only was I reading a complete verbal illustration of my child, but of myself as well. "They are normal children who are more intense, persistent, sensitive, perceptive, and uncomfortable with change than other children...It's difficult to describe what it is like to be the parent of a spirited child. The answer keeps changing: it depends on the day, even the moment." I constantly realize that life with Lilah is like looking into a mirror, only I'm proud to see that she's definitely the better model, the new and improved version. The 2.0.

This book is so insightful so far in helping me better define personality characteristics, of both myself and Lilah. I realized tonight while reading that I often think of certain qualities of mine as being negative after being told so throughout my life, and that I can translate these negative associations to my children as well. I have long ago set upon the journey to make positive character associations with all of Lilah's quirks and challenging aspects, but didn't ever make this connection with myself. I'm excited to have that interesting insight, that seeing certain things in a positive light starts with me, seeing it in myself, so I can then translate that to her. I guess I was doing it the other way around, giving Lilah positive terms for her personality facets, but not myself, which has been causing a breakdown in the system. I am not patient with myself, so striving to be patient with her hasn't been going as well as it seemed that it should have. This was interesting insight for me that I think should serve me well in dealing with my spirited child.

I will be interested to see where the new ideas presented in this book will lead me on my journey to becoming a more available, more understanding, more in tune parent. It's funny how things are when you have a child that's so much like you, you still manage to become blind to the best way of dealing with challenges, even though the answer is as simple as asking yourself how you'd like to be directed.